The White Album

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Manson's interpretation became better known than the White Album itself

I don't remember all that well how I felt about it

I do recall the shiny cover smelling like the pages of the high school yearbook!

and biting off a piece of it one night

I bit off part of Paulie's stubbly bearded head

Or maybe I was sucking my own cock

It's impossible to separate one memory from another

I was doin loads of free blotter buying rolls of crossroads ten fer a dollah

and smoking dirtweed all day and allah da nite

Plus stealing all me mummy's valium that I could get my hands on

She never knew why her monthly supply, one hundred and twenty blues!

kept going empty every fifteen-sixteen days

Finally the doctor wised her up after he took her out on a date and decided she can't be this much fun that high

Or could she?

Bastard!

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My mom was hot and wanting it bad too

I was in full oedipal flower among other ripenesses fruitier than the tangelo trees blooming all round the yard

Dad would come cruising passed in his pickup same time every night

staring into the open front room windows music blaring teen heat rising

He was still our Dad making sure we was all OK

Me, my sister and our friends endless parties when mom went out with the neighbour's ex-husband

or the Mayor or the bartender from the bowling alley

About once a week dad come bouncing up the driveway and out onto the porch

If anyone noticed they'd rush to the front door slam it shut first and lock it quick

We stifling giggles while he pounded on the door getting more and more pissed by the second

"Damn it! Hey Pete! Open up the god damn door God damn it!"

"Mom's not here dad. And she told us not to let you in."

That last part wasn't true but it always set him spinning off

crazy cussing a blue tirade through his teeth like a red neck

Dizzy puffed up and blowing that profanely upbent horn to the highest heavens

He'd stop after while light a cigarette, scratch his nose a few times then get back in his truck

and bounce back down the driveway laying rubber in the street

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Mom started hiding the valium bottle around the sweaty little two bed one bath crackerbox

but never so's I couldn't easily find her cute little box when I needed some

which was all the time from morning coffee to last call cerveza

She loved me too much that was the problem

When her and dad divorced we should've just hooked up

the two of us and moved away to Morocco or somewhere it wouldn't raise eyebrows

Plus all that excellent hashish for sale in the bizarre cheap

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Beat the Meatles! Part 1

Beatles for Sale

Beatles albums can be categorised into two distinct periods:

1. John, the-scotch-and-coke-swilling-meat-eater

2. John, the pussy-whipped-by-a-Japanese-whackjob-chick-vegan-acid-head

The first period extends from the initial Parlophone release Please Please Me through Revolver, while the second runs from Sergeant Pepper through Abbey Road. (Let it Be, although released later to coincide with the documentary was actually recorded earlier than Abbey Road.

I'm a self confessed John fanboi. The Beatles best songs, IMHO, as well as most of their songs in th eearly period, feature Lennon singing lead with Paul and sometimes George on backing vocals. This is not to dismiss Paul's important greatness one iota, for musically speaking he was both the brilliance and the glue that made the Beatles. His harmonies and melodicity largely were the essence of what turned John's songs into the classics they became.

I'm an unabashed early period Beatles fan. I find the early stuff, especially the non-hit single album filler more interesting musically for the lack of pretension and most definitely better sung, for the strength of the Beatles of course resided in their vocal abilities and song crafting rather than their mediocre (except for an occasional George guitar solo and the always exceptional basslines laid down by McCartney).

For me,  the two best all-time Beatles LPs occurred during  their BC period, Beatles for Sale and Revolver, in that order. Today, I will offer a critical analysis of the former and come back at a later date to take on the latter.

While Revolver is frequently recognised by music critics as one of, if not the best, Beatles LPs, Beatles for Sale is generally considered one of their less fabulous, a hastily thrown together commercial project in 1965, at the height of Beatlemania, mainly to take advantage of the willingly wide open pocketbooks of hysterical Beatlemaniacs. In the US, the album was released as two LPs, with even more filler added, Beatles 65 and Beatles VI, so the boys could double the take in their largest market. Is this a great country or what?

Beatles for Sale opens with the very underrated classic John tune No Reply, one of the earliest of his dark misogynistic story song motifs. He's  a stalker calling from outside his cheating girlfriend's house, waiting as she comes home with the Other Guy and watching for the reaction from inside when he makes the call. Musically, the song has a very simple but unusual structure for a blues-based rock tune, featuring no chorus, a fantastically emotive bridge in the middle of the song that builds into a rushing, pounding crescendo before abruptly returning to repeat the quieter second verse "I tried to telephone they said you were not home. That's a lie...".  This discordant sequence filled first with  intense the passion of the John/Paul harmony before switching back an to calmly accusatory second verse perfectly reflects the stalker's unbalanced, agitated state of mind. The songs coda repeats the title over and over to underscore the psychic pain of the stalker's  inability to make the connection with his unfaithful lover.

Beatles for Sale features six cover versions Rock n Roll Music (Chuck Berry), one of Lennon's best recorded vocals ever, confirms that both the Beatles and the Stones sang Berry better than Berry, Mr. Moonlight (Otis Johnson), another Lennon effort, the rather tame McCartney medley of Kansas City/Hey Hey Hey Hey (Leiber/Stoller and Little Richard tunes) and two Carl Perkins' send ups Honey Don't with Ringo vocals and the excellent Everybody's Trying to Be My Baby with George singing lead through an echo box. 

Besides Rock n Roll Music, the real revelation among the covers is the Beatles' treatment of the Buddy Holly B-side Words of Love. Where Holly sang harmony to his own lead vocal, the Beatles swap leads between John,  Paul and George and add gorgeous three part harmony that remake what was a Holly throwaway into a timelessly classic love song.

I've always been more interested in hearing a band's cover versions rather than their original compositions, simply because this gives you a way of determining where they are at musically in comparison to the original versions. You gain a sense of their stylistic tendencies, influences and their overall musicianship better than with their own penned numbers because the originals must be considered solely in their own right without a comparative frame of reference.

So without further ado, for your listening pleasure and critical consideration, ladeez and gennelmens, donkeytale's selection for all-time best Beatle LP.



What's yours?

Legalise Marijuana

Important Update:

Teen narrowly escapes death after smoking synthetic marijuana

I recommend people not smoke synthetic marijuana. It's a good thing some states have recently legalised the real stuff. Here in Massachusetts it has become decriminalised. If you're caught in public with less than an ounce, you get the equivalent of a speeding ticket. That is progress. (end of update 02/04/13)



That's what K2 Spice looks like. I never heard of it until a few days ago. It's some form of synthetic marijuana. It gets you buzzed same as the real thing but is sold legally in head shops and gas stations.

Looking around it appears anyone taking it is running the risk of experiencing a severe panic attack, heart troubles, or rapidly growing body hair then attacking stray dogs for a meal.



It's sold with the wink wink attitude of not being for human consumption. That it's incense. The problem is there's no way to know what's in it. One could be playing roulette and end up with a bad batch.

Another problem is that this isn't your grandmom's weed. Apparently it is up to 100 times stronger. Hence one toke can be the equivalent of a Cheech and Chong fattie.

I believe it is marketed to three different types of users. Primarily it seems to be a good alternative for weed smokers who have to submit to drug tests. It doesn't show up as cannabis. There are also those who for whatever reasons cannot find a pot dealer. Then there are those crazy teenagers who will try anything.

Law enforcement and others are pushing for it to be criminalised. They have had some success. The problem is that by doing so, they are simply asking manufacturers to come up with other alternatives with ingredients even less known than what goes into spice.

There's no way people are buying it as incense. I suspect consumers should be very careful when smoking it. They should make sure it's not a "bad batch" or overdo it. While it's impossible for anyone to overdose on marijuana, it is less clear what is truly up with spice weed.

Here's the obvious solution. Legalise marijuana and even this stuff. I'm not talking decriminalise. I'm saying make pot completely legal. Then it can be regulated. Jobs can be created. People can then know exactly what they're buying. Revenue can go back into the economy and help pay for national health care, new schools, fixing potholes, etc.. If that coincided with major cuts in the Military Industrial Complex, there'd be plenty of money to create the kind of utopia leftier than thous envision. All we are saying is give weed a chance.