What Happens When You're High for the First Time

Ah, I remember my first time...lucky kid:



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When Life Imitates Art

So it turns out our friend Tracy Morgan, who plays the hilarious "Tracy Jordan" on NBC's "30 Rock" is a lot like his character. Check out this local TV interview:



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Google Makes You Smarter

MSNBC.com recently reported on a brain scan research study that showed how our brain does what it does. Among the tidbits, I especially found these interesting:

* When a jazz musician is going off on an improvised jam session the areas of his brain handling self doubt almost cease to function, while the areas controlling creativity fire away.

* Searching the Internet works several more areas of the brain than does reading a book. Here's brain scan imagery to illustrate the point. On the left is your brain while reading a book, on the right is your brain's neural networks firing while interpreting Internet search results:



Check out the report at MSNBC.com.

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Zoom Zoom

This is amazing. It's a wide-shot digital picture taken at the recent inauguration in Washington DC. But it's no ordinary shot...the image is put together from over 1,000 megapixels and gives you the ability to zoom in to a single person's face standing thousands of feet away. Give it a try:

http://www.gigapan.org/viewGigapan.php?id=15374&window_height=844&window_width=1665

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The Scream

It's the most recognized screaming sound effect in cinema. You've heard it used in tons of movies, including all three original Star Wars, Titanic, and Reservoir Dogs.

It's called the "Wilhelm Scream" and was concocted by a sound designer named Ben Burtt in the 1950's. He's also the same guy that created Darth Vader's breathing, R2D2's voice, and the lightsaber sound effect. He was a busy guy!

And now, hear the Wilhelm scream in all of its glory. Again and again...



Many thanks to Mental Floss for the report.
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The State of the State of Things

It's been quite a while since this blog has blogged but rest assured, everyone here at Philelkins.com is alive and well. Well almost everyone. Due to the recent economic crisis we too have had to watch talented writers and researchers walk out the door due to lack of funding.

However we are nothing if not resilient and will press on even with less time dedicated to such an award-winning online publication. (Note from our lawyers: Philelkins.com has not yet been named a winner of any official award.)

With that said, there's a lot of stuff going on these days isn't there?

* The economy has melted. Houses are worthless, companies and banks are failing, and stocks are shrinking. Otherwise the world financial markets are pretty healthy!

* Obama is up by 10 pts nationwide and leading in most of the key battleground states. I'm just sayin'. Governor Palin continues to amaze the world with her wit, intelligence, experience, and... oh come on, who are we kidding here, even top-level Republicans are scared of her getting power!

* The Washington Redskins are good. Seriously! If not for an unexpected upset at the hands of the Rams they'd be sitting at 5-1 and a half game out of 1st place in an extremely competitive division.

* It's HOCKEY SEASON! So for all two of you fans out there, rejoice!

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Tracking Britain

Using satellite tracking technology a new BBC TV program shows off some pretty amazing footage of flights, taxi traffic, shipping traffic, and even telephone conversations over a 24-hour period.

The video teaser is short, and fascinating: BBC News
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ESPN Achieves Rare Moment of Creativity

If you're a semi regular viewer of ESPN you may have noticed this guy, Steve, appearing lately in live commercials promoting an upcoming change in the worldwide leader's programming. Starting August 12th the morning additions of SportsCenter will no longer be repeated hour after hour and will instead be aired live until 3:00 in the afternoon. Clearly ESPN producers don't understand the honor that men everywhere have when they realize they've sat through two hour-long (and identical) episodes of SportsCenter. It's a sort of rite of passage and clear catalyst to a fight with your mom about how you "promise to start looking for a job tomorrow."

The story here, though, is the surprising success and creativity that ESPN is enjoying in this campaign. You see, camera crews follow this guy Steve, a young production coordinator from Pittsburgh, around all day as he works in Bristol, goes to the gym, or enjoys a game of bowling with his girlfriend. There are about 10-15 thirty second commercials each day and they're completely live. It's a fairly impressive undertaking and Steve is actually marginally entertaining.

Although I may just be a giant television production nerd. That's a very respectable conclusion to draw.

The realization I've come to is that ESPN's original ideas are only interesting when related to advertising. Their commercials have always been hands down some of the best comedic spots. As my fellow editor Jason has previously pointed out, ESPN loves to try idiotic segments such as "Who's Now?", "Title Town," and "50 States in 50 Days."

I say try this ESPN: Show me highlights, then run several hilarious ESPN commercials, then show me more highlights.

Feel free to slim down by removing such unfortunate things like: Stuart Scott, Stephen A. Smith, the Budweiser Hot Seat, the Coors Light 6 pack of Questions, most of your analysis, Stephen A. Smith, Arena Football highlights, Arena Football analysis, Arena Football.

Check out the new Steve ad campaign at "Steve is Live.com"

Man Babies, Part 2

More fun with photography! It's Man Babies:

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Obama is a Jew

(Why is Carl from "Family Matters" pictured to the left? Read on baby birds, Uncle Phil will feed you!)

I guess it's time to update that clever Adam Sandler holiday song! First everyone thought Obama was an evil terrorist Muslim, and now a recent study reveals that a whopping 1% of Americans believe he is Jewish.

Which makes me a little jealous because as far as I can tell no one EVER mistakes me for something other than what I actually am; extraordinarily handsome, devastatingly rich, and possessing the intelligence of a super mainframe computer.

Why can't I be mistaken for a Swedish hot dog vendor? Or perhaps a Canadian police officer...or even TV's Reginald Veljohnson?!

Life is so unfar.
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Headline Writers Are Very Clever

You can find this story about the rising theft of pets and animals today on MSNBC.com. The headline is excruciating:

"Pet thefts rise as economy hits dog-gone low"

Round of applause for MSNBC contributor Kim Campbell Thornton who not only is a fantastically creative headline writer but also someone who requires the use of three names. She will either become British royalty or soon assassinate a President.

Story, headline and all, from MSNBC.
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Five Card Bud

So a guy walks into a casino and decides to use his bag of marijuana as poker chips. Commence video watching!



Many thanks to Adam Littlefield for the link.
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Poo Parcels

The website PooParcels.com asks "ever wanted to mail someone a piece of poo?"

And yes, it's real. Thanks to anonymous superstar Rob Jackson for the link.



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Women, Baseball, and Sex

I love analogies don't you? One of the better analogies is the "I got to 2nd base with her last night!" But what can the women say? From a Charleston City Paper blog:

Men talk about sex in baseball terms- 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd. We have set ourselves up as the hitter and the woman up as the pitcher. And we want to have the highest possible batting average against a woman with the lowest possible ERA. Preferably in the middle of a no hitter. Ideally the first time she’s ever been on the field.

Women cannot participate in the baseball analogy when they talk about sex because they are the pitcher. They can’t say:

“I was getting hammered out there. Giving up hits left and right. Singles doubles triples, I even gave up an inside the park homerun, I don’t even know what that is.”

David Lee Nelson's City Paper Blog
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Pro America or Anti Everyone Else? (Part 2)

(Check out the previous post for the beginning of this discussion)

Where does this blindly pro-America/anti-internationalism come from? Is it ignorance? Simply the passion of pride?

And first, some examples of what we're talking about here: hating France because...why are we supposed to hate France again? (freedom fries?); racism based on race or racism based more on country of origin; insisting on having the largest possible U.S. flag pole in your front yard; thinking foreigners are less intelligent because they don't speak English; chastising those who choose not to put their hand on their heart for the Pledge of Allegiance.

I've personally been called a socialist, communist, and having a lack of patriotism. Why? Because I'm not 100% happy with America. I don't like that we encourage torture at any level. I don't agree with every decision that our government makes. I don't like our current administration.

And even worse...I LIKE other countries! There I said it! You see, to be 100% pro-America you MUST mock and dislike all other nations. But the reality is that I do in fact love our country. I know just how special we have it here. Nowhere else will you find such opportunity and freedom. However am I not allowed to disagree from time to time?

So where does this anti-everyone else come from? As far as location, is it more prevalent to feel this way if you live in the South? The Midwest? Or are you more likely if you live in a small town? Big city?

If you've never left the state of your birth, even once, are you more likely to be anti-everyone else? Is it simply a matter of worldly ignorance? Is it education level? Does less education mean more hatred for other countries?

I'd love to continue this discussion and hear some of your answers in the comment section below or by emailing me (philelkins@hotmail.com). I'll post the more interesting of responses in the near future.
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Pro America or Anti Everyone Else?

This topic has been swimming around in my head for some time, but recent comments by America's favorite radio host Rush Limbaugh have prompted me to tackle it.

More on Rush's comments later. First lets talk about national pride. Do you like America? Me too! (Note: not America Ferrerra from Ugly Betty...silly!) I like it a lot. Me and America have been on good terms for 26 years now. I haven't even LOOKED at anyone else in that time. Although I do admit when Canada puts that skimpy hockey dress on it turns my head.

The point: we should all love our country for the many things it has offered, and will continue to offer us. We are certainly a unique country of diverse people, ideas, and superior opportunities.

Where I begin to have problems is when some people go overboard with their pride and insist that everyone else around them act similarly. For example, it's GOOD to love your country, it's BAD to blindly hate foreign nations just because they aren't yours.

Enter Rush Limbaugh. Recently he criticized Obama for a speech given in Germany where he simply admitted that America wasn't perfect and hasn't always done the right thing (allowed torture, mistakes in the Iraq war, etc). Rush even went so far as to say he was being anti-American.

Really? Admitting that we aren't perfect is simply humbling, honest, and accurate if you ask me. Why is there so much pressure to be as pro-America as possible? Put your hand on your heart for the National Anthem, put the largest U.S. flag possible in your front yard, etc.

I love this country but I can also respect and admire European countries and even criticize my own when it misbehaves. I refuse to be an uninformed member of this country and I welcome diversity, arguments, and protests. Afterall, isn't that what America is REALLY all about? The ability to disagree, question the motives of your country's governing body?

Last time I checked we weren't in favor of communist censorship. Your thoughts? Next post: Part 2 of this discussion including some questions I have regarding anti-internationalism as it pertains to where you live in the U.S., the size of your city, your education level, and more.

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Grammer and Spelingg is Important

Not to nitpick, but if you run a newspaper the least you can do is make sure your own title is spelled correctly. This is from a recent front page of New Hampshire and Vermont's "Valley News":



Nice work! At least they apologized and don't mind chuckling about it:



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I Love Counting to the Number Four

Sesame Street sings along with Feist. (Note: I wasn't exactly sober when I first watched this but I do remember laughing hysterically so here you go):



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Michael Savage is an Asshole

Forgive me for the coarse language, but conservative talk radio host Michael Savage deserves it. He had this to say about autism:

"Autism is [a] fraud, a racket. ... I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot.'"

Nice. I'm not saying ALL conservative talk radio is like this, but it sure doesn't help.

Thanks to Media Matters for the story.
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Of Hometowns and Life Expectancies

Choose your living situation wisely and you just might live longer. Here's a map of average U.S. life expectancy by congressional voting districts (Click map for full size):



Thanks to the Daily Dish for the link.
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Redskins Acquire Jason Taylor, Prepare for Danceoff

Late Sunday night it was reported that the Washington Redskins have traded two future draft picks for Miami Dolphins star defensive end Jason Taylor. You might recall that Taylor spent the offseason dazzling audiences on "Dancing with the Stars." Which is PERFECT for the Redskins in case there are any late-breaking NFL rule changes.

Imagine a scenario in which two teams are tied for the final playoff spot. Their overall record, divisional record, and points scored are identical.

Now also imagine that NFL commissioner Robert Goodell decides to mandate an unprecedented "dance-off" in which one player from each team is selected to show off their dancing skills. The winner earns their team the tiebreaker and a spot in the NFL playoffs.

So just in case, the 'skins are totally covered.
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A Note on Hallucinogenic Mushrooms

Catchy title, eh? I felt the need to pass this along because this is the sort of thing that the blindly anti-drug crowd will miss. Scientists studied the effects of psychedelic mushrooms on several people and among their findings I found this encouraging:

The experiment was funded in part by the National Institute on Drug Abuse. The results were published online Tuesday by the Journal of Psychopharmacology.

Fourteen months after taking the drug, 64 percent of the volunteers said they still felt at least a moderate increase in well-being or life satisfaction, in terms of things like feeling more creative, self-confident, flexible and optimistic. And 61 percent reported at least a moderate behavior change in what they considered positive ways.

That second question didn't ask for details, but elsewhere the questionnaire answers indicated lasting gains in traits like being more sensitive, tolerant, loving and compassionate.

In no way do I encourage illegal drug use, especially among the younger generation who lack the mental capacity to handle it. However, there are certainly a few drugs that are completely non-addictive and whose positive effects should not be laughed off or ignored. It continues to baffle me why most countries still consider drugs like these illegal when habit-forming drugs like caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco remain sanctioned.

Further research on hallucinogenic mushroom's main chemical, psilocybin, will reveal even more eye-opening positive and healing effects.

Full research study: Associated Press
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How Much is Your Drive Worth?

Here's a great site that takes into account local and current gas prices, the miles-per-gallon of your exact car, and your trip from point-A to point-B to help you figure out exactly how much it will cost you to make that roadtrip.

For example, using my state of the art 1998 Mazda Protege (averaging 26 mpg) it costs me $84 for a round-trip drive to visit my family and friends in Raleigh, NC. In August I'll be footing the bill of $137 to drive to and from the Outer Banks in North Carolina for our beach vacation. Ouch.

Try it out for yourself with Drive Pricing.
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Rules For Wearing Baseball Merchandise

A few quick and simple rules for wearing Major League Baseball merchandise. In fact, only one:

1) You must be at least marginally a fan of the team whose merchandise you are wearing.

I routinely (and by personal choice) get into conversations with strangers. Call me a people person (or you can just call me on the phone). I enjoy striking up a chat with people I pass while working at my glorious part time job at the world's favorite electronics retailer. I especially enjoy starting up conversations with people who are wearing sports memorabilia, because it's easy and fandom is universal.

It's amazing to me that I can get a complete stranger to engage in a lengthy discussion about sports, their hometown and family, or "why they hate the Yankees" simply based on the choice to wear their favorite team's baseball hat or football jersey.

However, over the past several months I've noticed a disturbing trend in sports clothing: A significant portion of young people are choosing to wear sports merchandise not based on their devotion to the team, but instead due to popular culture fashion! As if!

I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me lately:

"Oh hey man, are you from Maryland?" (pointing to the young man's Baltimore Orioles hat)
"Nope."
"Oh, just an Orioles fan though?"
"No, the hat just went with the outfit."

Gag me. This is sports not the E Entertainment Network! I guess I should have known though...it's not exactly "fashionable" to be an Orioles fan these days. But I digress. Here are some forceful suggestions from Philelkins.com staff writers:

* Rappers are not allowed to wear Nascar jackets unless they devote at least an hour per week to watching a race and/or following racing related coverage on ESPN.

* Thou shall not purchase any team's hat, jersey, shirt or the like unless you were either born in that team's city, attended a minimum of three games, "forgot to give this shirt back to my ex-boyfriend,"or "my Uncle lives in Boston."

* If you must wear un-affiliated sports merchandise it has to be that of a team that is not popular to claim allegiance to (Examples: Milwaukee Brewers, Seattle Supersonics, Miami Dolphins, any jersey from the Arena Football League).
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"Dorm Life"

Introducing "Dorm Life," a really creative and hilarious web-based TV show. The infamous Jason Hepler can be credited with introducing me to this show and as I've passed the fun along I've noticed a 100% success rate; everybody loves the show!

Think NBC's "The Office" set in a freshman college dorm room. It's fantastic because they've really nailed the personalities that you meet as a freshman. Give this show a try. Each episode is only about 5 minutes long. I've added the pilot episode below and Hulu.com has full high quality episodes for you to enjoy:



"Do you drink?"
"Probably."
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Elkins Named Player of the Week

From the Coastal Plain League's website:

Raleigh, NC — The Coastal Plain League announced Monday that Wilson’s Packy Elkins was named the Rawlings Hitter of the Week for week five of action (June 30 – July 6).

Elkins, a sophomore from Belmont started all five games for the Tobs on the week, finishing with a .500 average and seven hits, including a double and a home run. He scored four runs, drove in five RBIs and racked up 11 total bases, as well as being walked five times.

Elkins featured an impressive .786 slugging percentage and .650 on-base percentage as well. On the season, he is batting .258 with 23 hits, of which two are doubles, one a homer. He has scored nine runs and has nine RBIs, while tallying 28 total bases. He has been walked a team-high 23 times, features a .315 slugging percentage and .426 on-base percentage as well.

Thanks goes to Papa Elkins for the heads up.
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Worst Injury Ever

I'm not going to give too much analysis here. I'd just like to point out that the most unfortunate injury of the year in baseball has pretty much been locked down.

Arizona Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder suffered a fractured testicle. Yes, TESTICLE. I wasn't even aware a testicle could be fractured. At any rate, I'm sure every man in the world is holding a moment of silence for Mr. Snyder.

OUCH. God speed Mr. Snyder.

Story: Mercury News Online
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Raleigh Is Better Than Your Town, Officially

Confirming what many already knew, Raleigh was recently ranked the 2nd best city in AMERICA to "live, work, and play" according to a recent Kiplinger.com study.

The factors used to rank the cities included "places with strong economies and abundant jobs, then demand reasonable living costs and plenty of fun things to do." Here are some quick facts about Raleigh published in the study:

2. Raleigh

Population: 995,662

Population Growth Since 2000: 19.9%
Percentage of Workforce in Creative Class: 36.1%
Cost-of-Living Index: 99 (100 being national average)
Median Household Income: $56,150
Income Growth Since 2000: 10.3%

Coming from a person who grew up in this fine city I must say that it's nice to finally see Raleigh garner a bit of national attention. My only complaint? Where the heck is Charleston on this list?!

Story: Yahoo Finance
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Cliff Notes for the Cliff Notes

If the Cliff Notes version of your required reading just doesn't cut it, McSweeney's suggests you try literary classics "in three lines or less." Among them:

The Great Gatsby

NICK: I love being rich and white.
GATSBY: Me, too, but I'd kill for the love of a woman.
DAISY: We can work with that.

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Fun With Religious Studies!

I'm always fascinated with organized religion in our world today. I stumbled upon a recent Pew study and wanted to share a few highlights:

* The Spirituality of Atheists - 21% of Atheists believe in god.

Folks, allow me to reprint the exact definition of "atheist" from Dictionary.com: "a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings." Ok, got it. So you're telling me that 21% of atheists are unclear about the ONE thing that constitutes them as being an atheist? I'd say those 21% need to look in the mirror and come to the realization that if they believe in God they are most likely classified as being agnostic.

* Christian Evangelicals Similar to Muslims - In many questions, the group most similar to evangelicals was Muslims. For instance, 79% of evangelicals say religion is very important in their lives. That compares to 56% for the population as a whole, 56% among Catholics, 31% among Jews - and 72% among Muslims.

I could sit here and dwell on the irony and hilarity in the fact that only evangelical Christians and Muslims have similarly strong beliefs in their faith. But I know better than that.

* Tolerance -- 70% of Americans say "many religions can lead to eternal life" and 68% that there "is more than one true way to interpret the teachings of my religion." Most amazing, 57% of evangelicals say many religions can lead to eternal life. Given that one of the most important teachings of evangelical Christianity is that salvation comes ONLY through Christ, this finding ought to rattle Christian leaders.

And this is the most important point as far as I'm concerned. I'm very open religiously. The one thing I can't comprehend is how someone can be so forceful with their specific religion to the point where they are certain that heaven awaits them, while they're just as certain that all other religious paths do not qualify.

It's all about tolerance. Unless you've personally been to heaven and have brought back a permission slip from God stating who's invited and who isn't, don't be intolerant.

For more info: Author Steven Waldman's Blog
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