Assange Inducts Snowden into the 'Useful Idiot' Hall of Fame



Julian Assange has a habit of stepping on his own dick [projection alert]. Now, it appears he has branched out and is stepping on someone elses, too. A lover of the media spotlight, Assange garnered most all of the props after Bradley Manning made him a superstar on the infotainment scene by secretly downloading a bunch of US government documents marked less than "Top Secret" to the Wikileaks website. As you may have heard, Manning himself perhaps chafing at the other fellow's acclaim based on his exploits, revealed the leak online to a federal snitch named Adrian Lamo and now stands to spend much of the rest of his life in the stockade. Meanwhile, Assange took his newfound rockstardom and ran with it all the way to Sweden, where he promptly butchered two casually awkward groupie assignations. Somehow these alleged miscues magically transformed into rape charges that have forced him to hide, perhaps for the rest of his life, inside the London embassy of a heretofore unknown country called 'Ecuador.'
That evening, Miss A held a party at her flat. One of her friends, "Monica", later told police that during the party Miss A had told her about the ripped condom and unprotected sex. Another friend told police that during the evening Miss A told her she had had "the worst sex ever" with Assange: "Not only had it been the world's worst screw, it had also been violent."
Assange's back-to-back poor performances were not a surprising circumstance. As everybody knows, Assange belongs to the exulted club of teh Asperger. People with high functioning autism are uniformly brilliant geniuses of the first rank, but they seem to have issues with social relationships. Don't ever fall in heated forms of like with one of these creatures. It will end badly. Bet on it. Ask Joan Baez or Sarah Dylan.
Dylan is known, of course, for being short on charm - as scores of abruptly discarded lovers and musicians will tell you. Ruth Tyrangiel, his common-law wife for 17 years, said that in all their time together his only gifts to her were a tangerine and a rose.
Or ask any of my three wives and countless lovers, for that matter. There is a very, very heavy price to pay for genius, as Bob and I both know so well.
Her account to police, which Assange disputes, stated that he began stroking her leg as they drank tea, before he pulled off her clothes and snapped a necklace that she was wearing. According to her statement she "tried to put on some articles of clothing as it was going too quickly and uncomfortably but Assange ripped them off again". Miss A told police that she didn't want to go any further "but that it was too late to stop Assange as she had gone along with it so far", and so she allowed him to undress her. According to the statement, Miss A then realised he was trying to have unprotected sex with her. She told police that she had tried a number of times to reach for a condom but Assange had stopped her by holding her arms and pinning her legs. The statement records Miss A describing how Assange then released her arms and agreed to use a condom, but she told the police that at some stage Assange had "done something" with the condom that resulted in it becoming ripped, and ejaculated without withdrawing.
Edward Snowden may or may not be an aspie. We have no idea if his girlfriend dumped him before or after he dumped government documents to the media. We cannot confirm at this time whether he is an expert in the sack [projection alert] or a sexual doof. But we do know he ain't heading to Ecuador anytime soon. And for that it appears he can thank one 'Julian Assange.' And the Russians, not to mention the Chinese, are loving every vindictive second of Snowden's efforts which may not have been done intentionally for their benefit. Well, uhh, y'know, ahhm, he just happened to flee to Hong Kong and then to Moscow...and as we espionage professionals know well from reading John Le Carre and Len Deighton religiously as teenagers, there are no such things as "coincidence" or "happenstance" in the spy business. Or in conspiracy theories, either...which are even more pervasive than spooking on the internet, and thats saying something in a post-Snowden world. Glenn Greenwald, care to reveal your paystubs now?
But on Wednesday the Kremlin apparently decided to hastily arrange two hourlong talk shows devoted to the case. Each focused less on Mr. Snowden himself than on the flaws of the United States and the threat posed by its intelligence apparatus. Aleksandr I. Shumilin, a political analyst who was invited to appear, said he had turned down the request, sensing that the result would be a “mighty propagandistic blow: not a shot from a pistol, but a shot from a cannon.”
Say, whatever happened to that Bradley Manning character anyway?